Hey lovely people, welcome back to Confidence & Cappuccino. I’m your host, Nefe, and today’s episode… well, it’s a little different.

This isn’t a “five tips to confidence” chat or a feel-good productivity episode. Today, I want to sit with something real. Something many of us experience but rarely talk about — grief.

Not necessarily grief from losing someone, but grief from losing something you imagined would be part of your life.

For me, that’s been about my health. I won’t share every detail, because some things are still tender and unfolding. But I’ve been navigating a difficult reality — dealing with fibroids, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, and the news that a hysterectomy might be my next step.

It’s the kind of news that makes you pause. The kind that makes you look at your body, your future, and your story — and grieve the version of your life you thought you’d have.

☕ Part 1: The Grief We Don’t Talk About

We often think grief belongs to death. But sometimes, grief shows up in other ways — quieter, more confusing.

It can be the end of a dream, a relationship that didn’t work out, a career that wasn’t what you hoped.
It’s the loss of the what ifs. The unspoken expectations. The version of yourself that existed only in your imagination.

For me, it’s been the image of motherhood I carried in my heart for years. I always thought one day, when life felt more stable and I was in a loving relationship, I’d have children. I wanted to do it the “right” way — not as a statistic, not as a stereotype.

But sometimes life doesn’t follow the picture we painted.

And that loss, even though it’s invisible to others, is real.

You find yourself grieving things people can’t see —
 like the name you imagined giving your child,
 or the way you thought your body would one day create life.

And the guilt follows. You start wondering — where did it go wrong? Did I miss something? Did I wait too long?

🌿 Part 2: My Journey Through Grief and Growth

If you’ve listened for a while, you know I’ve always been into personal growth — but this kind of growth is different.

It’s not pretty. It doesn’t come with vision boards or affirmations. It’s messy. It’s tearful. It’s quiet.

Some days I’m angry. Other days I’m numb. And some days, I’m oddly peaceful — like I’m learning to make peace with a story I didn’t choose.

For so long, doctors dismissed my pain. “Let’s just wait and see,” they’d say. I spent my teens and twenties managing pain like it was normal, only to find out now that all that suffering came with an ending I didn’t see coming.

And that’s where grief hits hardest — in the unfairness. The “what was the point?” thoughts.

But through it all, I’ve been realizing that grief, in its strange way, is also a kind of teacher. It strips away what doesn’t matter and asks, “Who are you when the plan changes?”

🌸 Part 3: The Power of Shared Stories — Gabrielle Union’s Journey

When I was processing all this, I found comfort in reading other women’s stories.

One that really touched me was Gabrielle Union’s. She’s spoken openly about her struggles with infertility, miscarriages, and the emotional toll of wanting a child so deeply while her body kept saying no.

She once said in an interview:

“The experience of not being able to carry life has brought me to my knees more times than I can count.”

That honesty struck me — not because she’s a celebrity, but because she allowed herself to feel.

She didn’t wrap her story in glitter. She didn’t make it inspirational for the sake of others. She made it human.

And that’s what I’m learning — that we don’t owe anyone polished grief. We owe ourselves honesty.

It’s okay to say, “This hurts,” without a motivational quote to follow. Sometimes bravery looks like just getting through the day without falling apart.

💫 Part 4: Redefining Hope

Grief has a strange rhythm. Some days, I’m okay. I laugh, I work, I record this podcast. Other days, it sneaks up on me — a wave that crashes out of nowhere.

But here’s what I know now:
 Hope doesn’t always mean getting what you wanted.
 Sometimes it means finding new dreams in unexpected places.

Maybe my story won’t include motherhood in the way I imagined.
 But maybe it will include other forms of nurturing — through coaching, through storytelling, through helping others find their confidence when life feels uncertain.

Hope isn’t gone. It just looks different now.

☀️ Part 5: What I Want You to Remember

If you’re listening to this and you’re grieving — whether it’s a diagnosis, a dream, or a version of life that didn’t happen — I want you to know:
 You are still whole.
 You are still worthy.
 And you are not alone.

Grief isn’t a flaw. It’s a reflection of love — for what could have been.

Give yourself grace. Let yourself rest. And remember that your story doesn’t end here — it just changes chapters.

Summing up
 Thank you for sitting with me in this one, my loves. I know this wasn’t our usual light-hearted chat, but sometimes confidence isn’t about showing up smiling — it’s about showing up honestly.

If this episode spoke to you, you can find the transcript and a few gentle resources for healing over at nefeoguntoye.com/.

And if you’re walking through your own quiet grief right now, I hope you find moments of peace between the waves.

Until next time — be gentle with yourself, be brave with your heart, and remember: even when life changes shape, you are still you. 💖☕

End of transcript.