“Hello my lovely people, and welcome back to another episode of Confidence & Cappuccino with me, Nefe. This is our cosy corner — a little escape where we sip coffee, share stories, and learn how to build confidence, one conversation at a time.

Now, if you listened to last week’s episode, you’ll remember we talked about the power of tiny wins — how folding the laundry, drinking a glass of water before coffee, or finally sending that email can actually stack up into big confidence.

But here’s the thing: even when we know tiny wins matter… sometimes we don’t take them. And why? Because we’re stuck in our heads. We overthink.

So today’s chat is all about moving from overthinking to action. Because most of us don’t need more thinking. What we need — what really changes things — is doing.”

☕ Story Opening

“Let me start with a confession.

There was a time I spent three whole days — yes, three days — trying to write the perfect email. Just one email. Not a book, not a TED Talk, not a business plan. Just a reply to a message in my inbox.

I would type, delete, rewrite, tweak. I’d reread it 20 times. I’d think about it while brushing my teeth, while cooking, while scrolling on my phone. And guess what? By the time I finally sent it… the opportunity had passed.

And the funny — or sad — thing is, the person on the other end probably wasn’t analysing it nearly as much as I was.

That’s what overthinking does. It tricks us into believing we’re being productive. But really? It’s mental quicksand. The more we wrestle with it, the deeper we sink.”

☕ Section 1: Why We Overthink

“Now, why do we do this? Why do we overthink?

Well, usually it’s fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of looking silly. Fear of what people will think.

Sometimes it’s perfectionism — this need for everything to be polished before it leaves our hands. You know, the ‘I’ll start when it’s perfect’ mentality.

And sometimes, it’s just a way of stalling. We tell ourselves we need more time, more research, more preparation. But let’s be real — that’s just procrastination wearing a fancy outfit.

It’s like standing at the edge of a swimming pool, saying ‘I’ll jump when I feel ready.’ But the truth? You don’t feel ready until you actually jump. The action creates the readiness, not the other way around.”

☕ Section 2: The Cost of Overthinking

“And what’s the cost of all this overthinking? Because there is one.

Number one: it drains our energy. Have you ever spent longer choosing a Netflix film than actually watching one? That’s overthinking. By the time you decide, you’re too tired to even enjoy it.

Number two: it delays progress. Opportunities slip away while we’re still drafting the perfect plan.

And number three — and this one stings a bit — overthinking erodes our confidence. Because every time we don’t follow through, we quietly tell ourselves, ‘See? You can’t do it.’

But here’s the good news: the cycle can be broken. And it starts with action.”

☕ Section 3: How to Move from Overthinking to Action

“Alright, so how do we do it? How do we move from overthinking into action?

Here are four things that have worked for me, and for many people I’ve coached or spoken to:

Step 1: Shrink the task.
 Don’t write a book — just open a blank doc. Don’t run a marathon — just put your trainers on. Don’t declutter the whole house — just clear one drawer. The smaller the step, the harder it is to argue with.

Step 2: Set a timer.
Tell yourself, ‘I’m just going to do this for five minutes.’ You’d be surprised how often momentum takes over. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, ‘I’ll just tidy for five minutes’ and suddenly an hour has passed.

Step 3: Choose progress over perfection.
 Done is better than perfect. Always. That draft, that workout, that journal entry — even if it’s messy, even if it’s short — it still counts. Imperfect action is still progress.

Step 4: Ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen?
 Usually, it’s not as bad as our brains make it out to be. The email might not be perfect, but at least it’s sent. The workout might be short, but at least you moved your body. The worst-case scenario is rarely catastrophic. But doing nothing? That keeps you stuck.”

☕ Section 4: Real-Life Inspiration
 “I’ll give you a real example.

A listener once told me she wanted to start journaling, but she couldn’t get going. She was overthinking the perfect notebook, the perfect pen, even the perfect first sentence.

One day, she gave up on perfect and grabbed a scrap of paper. She wrote three lines. That was it. And you know what? That scrap of paper turned into a habit. Journaling became her daily ritual.

Her confidence didn’t come from buying the fancy stationery. It came from acting — imperfectly, simply, but consistently.

And that’s the point: action is what builds the bridge out of overthinking.”

☕ Summing Up

 “So here’s what I want you to take away: confidence isn’t born in the safety of our thoughts. It’s born in action.

Your brain learns to trust you when you do, not when you overthink.

So this week, ask yourself: Where am I overthinking? And what’s the tiniest step I could take right now? Then go do that.

Because confidence isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about proving to yourself, over and over again, that you can take the next step.”

☕ Closing

“Thank you so much for sharing this coffee chat with me today. I hope this episode gave you the nudge you need to quiet the noise in your head and take one small, brave action.

I’d love to hear what that action is — no matter how tiny. Come share with me over at nefeoguntoye.com/ or tag me on socials so I can cheer you on.

Until next time, keep sipping, keep shining, and keep choosing action over overthinking.

I’m Nefe, and this was Confidence & Cappuccino.”

End of transcript.